31 Awesome Things in 31 Days: Thing #14—Paint Each Others' Toenails

Is anyone else besides me super jealous of Dave's tan lines?

David mentioned in one of his recent blogs how busy we've been so far this summer. In fact, the Houston trip has really been our only respite (and even that trip was full of studying for qualifying exams, grading final essays, and wrapping up final projects). We really want our 31 Awesome Things challenge to push us out of our comfort zones, preferably in ways that make us more useful, generous, and better friends/neighbors/people. There are so many opportunities to do good, and we feel so blessed beyond our capacity to even appreciate all the good things we have in our lives.

This Thing, however, is not one of those do-goodery Things. It is completely self-centered around our own beauty and hygiene—namely, the beautification of our toes.

Yesterday got swept away in dentist's and doctor's appointments, and today we had to tackle our ant/mouse problem in the kitchen, plus David has that daily four-hour summer seminar (which entails working with the local weather station at the Science Spectrum, so he had the full scoop on all nearby tornado warnings today). Holls and I picked up David from school just as the latest dust storm/haboob rolled in, and we made our way through the grit and sand (think Tatooine) to Target to buy some new pajamas for Hollie and some nail polish for our Awesome Thing #14—Painting each others' toenails.

I'm getting too pregnant to reach my feet very easily, so Dave and I took turns painting each others' toes while listening to the thunderstorm outside and watching Drop Dead Fred on Netflix (more on that in a minute).

A few secrets about the Grover family ought to be revealed in the telling of this story, and I have numbered them below:

1. David always used to paint his toenails in high school, usually a bright pastel or one of those color-changing paints (he immediately looked for those this afternoon, and I had to break it to him that, as far as I know, those went out with color-changing shirts back in the '90s). He wanted to go with a bright lavender (his favorite color), but thought that maybe as a 31-year-old male college professor he had better opt for a more muted purple. (I have some bright lavender polish on hand in case he changes his mind later this week.)
2. I never used to paint my toenails, and I can count on my fingers how many jars of nail polish I've owned throughout my lifetime. I've always been a bit ashamed of my feet, and I never wanted to call too much attention to them. Those kind of fears seem silly now that I'm 31. I realize now that people have better things to do than judge me for my feet. (And that's how David and I had completely opposite awakenings today about what it means to be 31.)
3. Yes, you are seeing clearly—David has webbed toes. It's why he can swim so much better than me (that, and I only know how to doggy-paddle). And I have gimpy midget pinky toes. Imagine poor David trying to paint those gimpy little shy pinky toes. It's practically impossible.

And people, I have to tell you something: it was awesome to paint my husband's toenails and have him paint mine. I had never paid all that close attention to David's toenails before, and it was surprisingly intimate to paint them purple with my tongue sticking out to keep from messing them up. It was even more fun watching him stick his tongue out to keep from messing up my toes (for the record, he painted my toenails way better than I ever paint my own). Maybe this is why some married couples massage each others' feet. I don't know. I think I prefer painting Davey's toes. To each their own.

As for Drop Dead Fred, it was an awful film that I never need to see again that I loved watching tonight. It was such a good bad film. Everything about it was unbalanced and bizarre, but Drop Dead Fred was disgustingly, weirdly attractive, and the main character girl was delightful. And who doesn't love Carrie Fisher playing everybody's best friend in the '90s? Nobody, that's who. The film was like a bad knock-off of Tim Burton, with special effects that were reminiscent of Beetlejuice, only worse and more disgusting. It also played on that old late-'80s/early-'90s plot device of the maniacal problem child.  And Jim Carrey's costume designer clearly took tips from Fred's red hair and green tux for the Riddler in Batman Forever. David and I both remember seeing bits of the film as kids and being unnerved at how much it seemed like a movie for kids but definitely wasn't a movie for kids. And I think it shares a soundtrack with another number of awful, disturbing films in the same era and genre—you know, stuff like Robin Williams' Jack and Martin Short's Clifford. What were you thinking, early '90s? Seriously.

In other words, it was the perfect ridiculous film for a perfect ridiculous Awesome Thing.

Thing #14—Celebrate the bonds of marriage by painting each others' toes = ACCOMPLISHED.