Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Country Lovers, I Need Your Help

Today David and I went to the dentist for the first time in a full year. I had a minor traumatic experience when I was trying to explain I didn't want to have any x-rays taken, but they were going to take some anyway (it seems to be a new part of any Grover family medical examination to have the nurse/hygienist/secretary go off and retrieve my husband to help calm me down from something that made me burst into tears--don't ask me about the last time I had to get my blood drawn), but after the dentist came in and told me he wouldn't get x-rays if he were pregnant, either, I felt somewhat validated. But the point is, despite bursting into tears and having to have David come and hold my hand while they took the x-ray vest off of me and assured me I wouldn't have any extra radiation today, the dentist office experience as a whole was very peaceful and relaxing.

I came back this afternoon for a cleaning (the first visit was just a consultation...I know, David and I were sort of confused by that as well), and I decided that part of what made me feel so safe in the hands of a masked woman with several freaky-looking metal instruments bleeding up my gums was because of the soft country music playing in the background, and the way my dental hygienist softly hummed along to the tunes. It also helped that the waiting room had been playing The Food Network's Barefoot Contessa which is basically my grown-up version of watching Mr. Rogers (instead of the Speedy Delivery Guy, the Barefoot Contessa has a man in a pink sweater that comes sometimes to make flower arrangements for her garden parties). The way she cracks eggs and softly whisks them together is as comfortingly fastidious as the way Mr. Rogers replaced his outside shoes for inside ones.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot today about country music and my own past abhorrence of it. When I was a teenager and somebody asked me what kind of music I listened to, I would reply, "Anything but country!" Which of course wasn't true. I also hate heavy metal and goth rock and whatever else is out there. And most pop songs. Actually, I am quite picky when it comes to music.

But my tastes are changing. Maybe it's the pregnancy, but I think it's happened since I've been married. I don't like watching scary movies anymore (sort of a big deal for me not to like them...a good fourth of my video collection is off-limits to me now), and I find myself really appreciating anything that makes me feel soft, safe, and at home. Maybe I'm nesting? In any case, I liked what I heard in the dentist office today, but I don't know about how to seek out the kind of country music I like, because there is a lot I still really don't have a taste for.

I know that a lot of my friends out there listen to country music, and it is to you that I am coming for help. I need some good country song recommendations. A lot of my old music seems really depressing/selfish/angsty to me now, and what I really want to listen to in my home is stuff that makes me want to water flowers, make peach pies, and walk around in the grass barefoot (of course, David Bowie also makes me want to water flowers, make peach pies, and walk around in the grass barefoot, but that's besides the point). I need more bright music, more music that makes me excited to get up out of bed and dust things. I need more songs like Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" to make me feel like I'm really living. But I don't know who or what to listen to! So give me some song lists, somebody, so I can get my feet wet in the genre of music that I have previously avoided with passion!

To help you narrow down the long lists of country music songs over the ages, here are some nit-picky tips about what I am and am not looking for:

I want country songs that...


...make me feel like I'm in the country. Maybe they mention trees or animals or wooden fences or fly fishing or backwoods cabins or sunsets. I don't like urban country (except maybe Dolly Parton's "9 to 5"). I want country music to make me feel like I'm lying on a blanket wearing a sundress at a picnic by the river, with my hair all wildflowered and my hands/arms/face/toes all dirty from taking care of the horses all day.

...talk about how much husbands love their wives or wives love their husbands or parents love their children or children love their grandparents, etc. I know there are some super heartwarming (bordering on sentimental) songs out there about how grandma and grandpa met and stuff like that, the kind of stuff that I am noticing is in basically zero pop songs or rock songs (Paul McCartney aside). I want to know the best country songs that talk about how awesome families are and home is.

...are bright and wholesome and hopeful about the future. So, nothing that is going to depress me or make me think about how crummy life can be. I want the opposite. I want songs that make me want to get up and dance or get up and clean the house or get up and go swimming. Songs that make me want to get up.

I do NOT want country songs that...


...mention sippy cups. I know that song exists, and I know I don't like it, even if it does talk about how great families are. Sippy cups are never appropriate as song lyrics.

...are sexy songs. If it's one kind of country that I really hate, it is country that defines sexiness, especially in terms of women's boobalicious appearances or how tractor-like the men are. I'm not interested in sexy country songs. Just endearing love songs about husbands being grateful for their wives or wives being grateful for their husbands.

...are about cheating. I don't know of these songs off the top of my head, but I know that country gets a bad rap for being all about cheating boyfriends or cheating girlfriends--that just sounds super lame and boring to me.

...are line-dancing songs. I want songs that make me want to get up and dance, but not songs that make me want to get up and line-dance. I do like slow-dancing country better than slow-dancing pop rock. If that makes sense.

...are sung by Shania Twain. Even if it is awesome and fulfills all my previous requests, I won't like it because I hate Shania Twain.

No offense to any of you that love any of the songs I just described as things I hate. Now give me some recommendations! Thank you in advance for all your help and good taste!