Japan

Okay, I want to write an entry about AP English test-grading sometime soon, as well as my run-in with Stubb and his family and putting up a tent in his living room at 2 a.m. with him and his wife (I'm supposed to keep that on the D.L.). But first I thought I'd churn out this post while it was on the front of my mind.

I'm going to Japan. I know I said I wasn't, but I am. I'm leaving July 28th and will be living in Kyoto for a year. I'm supposedly living in the southernmost part of Kyoto in a place called Kizugawa, named after this river. I've been thinking a lot about this. And I think it's a bit late for me to be pulling the plug on the commitment I sort of made by sending in my health documents. *cough* I still worry about all the things I worried about before. I'm sure I'll have second thoughts when I arrive. But this is life. I know if I stayed here I would only dream about Kyoto from the cubicle of wherever I could find a job. A year isn't forever.

And my justifications about love and marriage come down to this: a roundtrip ticket to Japan costs MUCH much less than any engagement ring. If there's a dude out there that simply cannot live without me and realizes he's been a cad, a bounder, a twit to not say it to me earlier, there's no reason he can't come to Japan and find me. It's not like I'm on another planet.....just the other side of this one. .............hmmm. It will be a good kind of lonely over there, I think. I know I will love the middle school kids. I know I will love late-night summer festivals and karaoke. I will love eating raw eggs again and hyaku yen sushi. I already miss my family and friends. I already know when I come home most of my single friends will be married and most of my married friends will have more kids. My heart aches a little when I think about this. I worry about being left behind....I've always worried about being left behind. But I also feel this is something I should do....I should fill out grad school applications from a red bench in a zen garden. I think I will probably steer clear from most of my former missionary areas, but I definitely will meet up with old companions. In fact, Sisters Morishige, Takahashi, and Nakai all live in Kansai so I'm basically in their territory.

And maybe I'll come visit my family over New Years. I'm sure flights out of Japan are cheaper then because most people are trying to COME for New Years. But it would be excruciatingly hard to not see my family for another full year again. I cain't do it.

I'll post a bit more on this page as developments come. I feel a bit somber talking about it now, thinking of the goodbyes I have to say and feeling the inevitable loneliness that comes from heading into unknown territory where nobody knows your name. But there isn't anything really for me here right now. Or if there is, maybe it'll wait for me. A year is a year is a year, after all.